For health, sure. But the way I see it, it does more harm than good.
[He shrugs.]
Exercising is good for ya. Eat what ya want in moderation and work out in the meantime. But you gotta enjoy the food you eat and not make yourself depressed eating it.
[Leona quirks a brow and nods to the lonely salad.]
[Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say as Azul suddenly brings a hand down on the table, rather forceful and abrupt.]
Look. I'm going to try to be nice and not assume that you are incapable of being concerned about anything like this in regards to your own well being. But since we're talking about myself here, the fact of the matter is that I do have my own reasons for doing whatever I feel I have to for managing my weight, regardless of where we are. It's important to me that I don't lose control over this one thing, even if it doesn't seem like it should matter what anyone else thinks about it.
[He doesn't have any control over the situation that forces them to be here in this place... but at least there is one thing he can still try to influence control over while they're here, in this case being what he eats.]
And, it shouldn't be any of your business how I choose to do so, given that you just admitted yourself that it doesn't actually matter to you here.
[There's a brief silence before he exhales suddenly.]
Sure, just don't starve yourself.
[Leona tilts his head at him.]
Like ya said, you got your own reasons. But bringing yourself to this point? There's a fine balance you need so you don't let yourself feel the effects long-term.
[Azul frowns deeper at that but does not say anything to argue against it yet. Because honestly, he would just be repeating himself by this point. Floyd and Jade have also tried to tell him that he should be a little less strict on himself when it comes to his dieting, but he tends to brush them off when they do.
Even if he may have to concede, at least privately to himself, that he hates a lot of the meals he eats for the sake of being "healthy", but... the alternative of giving into the occasional urge to clean off an entire table's worth of meat and any high calorie foods is even less healthy, he thinks. So... perhaps he does tend to end up going too far in the opposite direction trying to avoid that.
However, Azul isn't going to admit that Leona might be right so easily.]
I'm not trying to starve myself. [But, that's all he says for a moment before he sighs, and Azul forces his hands on the table here to relax from where they had started to curl into fists of agitation.] And I do plan on finishing that salad, as I do not particularly enjoy the thought of letting food go to waste if I can help it.
[Leona watches him closely, taking in every reaction. Every bit that Azul is saying and not saying. He's seen his fair share of "dieting". Vil is an example, though the model has figured out that balance of maintaining his beauty without sacrificing his appetite for it. He knows the Pomefiore housewarden's tendencies not to eat at night, but everyone has that craving they can't quite ignore.
He's lived for two decades. He's seen plenty of things already. The way Azul is dieting? He doesn't think it's healthy. Not one bit.]
Never said you weren't going to finish it. Thought food was supposed to make ya happy; don't push yourself more than you need to if you can't enjoy what you eat.
[... Hmm. That Ramshackle Prefect said something like that too to him, once.]
You make that sound so easy.
[And it probably should be, in fact.
But some days are harder than others when it comes to his concerns on this matter, and Azul doesn't particularly want to get into it any more than he already has allowed himself to say. Not today, at least.]
[Azul's gaze averts a little, determined to keep his attention on watching for their server to come back rather than give Leona the satisfaction of acknowledging that damn smirk.]
I'm simply curious about whether or not they have anything else worth making note of that I didn't notice the first time while looking at it.
[uh-huh, sure Azul...
The waiter comes back, and Azul looks at the menu again, this time not at the side where those salads and other "healthy" options were at before. Instead, he's looking at the meat again, before he seems to find what he's looking for: this place is primarily fond of seafood, but while Azul isn't opposed to it (except for octopus, for obvious reasons), it's not his favorite type of meat to consume.
Instead, his attention is drawn to one of the few offerings of chicken they do happen to have, and after a long moment of wrestling with himself internally on it, the siren call of chicken seems to win out as he calls the waiter back over.]
I'd like to order this dish here. Also, I'll need a container for the salad, please.
["Of course. And was there anything that you wanted as well, sir?"
This is being directed to Leona now, as the waiter turns their attention back to him finally.]
[Wow, don't eat octopus in front of Azul?? On his own birthday, in fact??? Leona would absolutely deserve to get decked.
Anyway, it seems that Azul will allow Leona to order another plate of that meat for himself, rather than make some kind of snide remark again about how Leona needs to be more mindful of Azul's budget or wallet.]
For the record, I'm only making an exception for today to... allow this to be a "cheat" day, or whatever it is that people like to call it.
[It's said with a tone that feels like he wants to say something like "See, I did the thing, happy now?" but that would be a lot more childish, so he doesn't.]
You mean aside from the fact that I have ordered something that is probably going to exceed my calorie count for the day, so I may as well just commit to considering this a cheat day now?
[But then there's a pause, like he's debating on whether he should even bother mentioning it after having spent this entire time not doing so up to this point, until finally...]
Yes. And... I would prefer that you don't tell anyone else here, actually. I don't want others getting into their heads that they need to have a party or to get me anything for it.
[However... he had not really wanted to be alone today either.
Sure, he probably could have asked someone else, but... he did owe Leona a favor. And Leona is someone that feels... strangely safe of all things to do this with, because Leona isn't the type of person who would make a particularly big deal out of it, right? Or so Azul assumes, anyway. He isn't expecting Leona to feel or act like he's supposed to be obligated to do something about it like someone else might just because it happens to be his birthday today.]
...Who the hell do you think I'd go spouting off to about your birthday?
[While it sounds mean, it...isn't. Because Leona genuinely doesn't really know anyone within Azul's circle (that he knows of) who'd care about something like that. And rest assured, Leona isn't feeling obligated or something either. It's not like school where they hold birthday interviews and are required to give gifts. Leona doesn't care for the whole fanfare of it.]
[Azul starts to open his mouth... but then he stops, closing it abruptly. Azul has never really talked that much, if at all, about the other people in this place that he's actually bothered to "befriend", has he? Come to think of it, he doesn't even know who Leona talks to, if anyone, when he and Azul are not in the same vicinity.]
... You do have a point there. There's no one else we know of back home that are here, nor do I know if you even know the same people I do well enough here that it would come up in conversation.
[If he had to guess who among his cr business dealings and associations he's made here would be the type to care, it would probably be Kaveh (which will be proven correct when he gets back to his apartment and finds the birthday gift the other man left him), or Della maybe, who tends to be rather enthusiastic and friendly and thus, the sort who would care about someone's birthday.]
Best to assume that our circles don't run into each other that often.
[Not like Leona goes out of his way to make friends. Even back at home, his circle was fairly small with people he genuinely trusted. He likes his privacy and his space.]
So don't worry about me running my mouth off to someone about your birthday.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He shrugs.]
Exercising is good for ya. Eat what ya want in moderation and work out in the meantime. But you gotta enjoy the food you eat and not make yourself depressed eating it.
[Leona quirks a brow and nods to the lonely salad.]
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[But then, something seems to occur to Azul here to ask finally as he frowns.]
Why do you even care about this anyway? I don't see how it matters to you what I eat or don't eat here.
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[Even so…]
Just don’t need ya starvin’ yourself when you don’t need to in this place. Ain’t like it’s back home, after all.
cw that probably should have gone up sooner but now being more direct about azul's eating disorder
Look. I'm going to try to be nice and not assume that you are incapable of being concerned about anything like this in regards to your own well being. But since we're talking about myself here, the fact of the matter is that I do have my own reasons for doing whatever I feel I have to for managing my weight, regardless of where we are. It's important to me that I don't lose control over this one thing, even if it doesn't seem like it should matter what anyone else thinks about it.
[He doesn't have any control over the situation that forces them to be here in this place... but at least there is one thing he can still try to influence control over while they're here, in this case being what he eats.]
And, it shouldn't be any of your business how I choose to do so, given that you just admitted yourself that it doesn't actually matter to you here.
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Sure, just don't starve yourself.
[Leona tilts his head at him.]
Like ya said, you got your own reasons. But bringing yourself to this point? There's a fine balance you need so you don't let yourself feel the effects long-term.
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Even if he may have to concede, at least privately to himself, that he hates a lot of the meals he eats for the sake of being "healthy", but... the alternative of giving into the occasional urge to clean off an entire table's worth of meat and any high calorie foods is even less healthy, he thinks. So... perhaps he does tend to end up going too far in the opposite direction trying to avoid that.
However, Azul isn't going to admit that Leona might be right so easily.]
I'm not trying to starve myself. [But, that's all he says for a moment before he sighs, and Azul forces his hands on the table here to relax from where they had started to curl into fists of agitation.] And I do plan on finishing that salad, as I do not particularly enjoy the thought of letting food go to waste if I can help it.
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He's lived for two decades. He's seen plenty of things already. The way Azul is dieting? He doesn't think it's healthy. Not one bit.]
Never said you weren't going to finish it. Thought food was supposed to make ya happy; don't push yourself more than you need to if you can't enjoy what you eat.
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You make that sound so easy.
[And it probably should be, in fact.
But some days are harder than others when it comes to his concerns on this matter, and Azul doesn't particularly want to get into it any more than he already has allowed himself to say. Not today, at least.]
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[POT MEET KETTLE. But this isn't about him. It's about Azul and his terrible eating habits.]
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[... Maybe too much effort, in fact.
Still, Azul seems to take Leona's words now as a challenge of some kind, because as the waiter steps up to ask if they need anything right now...]
My apologies, but can you bring back to the table a menu for us? I want to take a look at it again.
["Oh, of course sir! Wait one moment please."]
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[He raises an eyebrow when Azul asks for a menu.
Well then.]
Still hungry?
[Smirk.]
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I'm simply curious about whether or not they have anything else worth making note of that I didn't notice the first time while looking at it.
[uh-huh, sure Azul...
The waiter comes back, and Azul looks at the menu again, this time not at the side where those salads and other "healthy" options were at before. Instead, he's looking at the meat again, before he seems to find what he's looking for: this place is primarily fond of seafood, but while Azul isn't opposed to it (except for octopus, for obvious reasons), it's not his favorite type of meat to consume.
Instead, his attention is drawn to one of the few offerings of chicken they do happen to have, and after a long moment of wrestling with himself internally on it, the siren call of chicken seems to win out as he calls the waiter back over.]
I'd like to order this dish here. Also, I'll need a container for the salad, please.
["Of course. And was there anything that you wanted as well, sir?"
This is being directed to Leona now, as the waiter turns their attention back to him finally.]
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But he doesn’t need the actual octopus across from him to punch him in the face.]
Another order of that meat dish I got before.
[Leona is not touching those healthy foods. Nope.]
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Anyway, it seems that Azul will allow Leona to order another plate of that meat for himself, rather than make some kind of snide remark again about how Leona needs to be more mindful of Azul's budget or wallet.]
For the record, I'm only making an exception for today to... allow this to be a "cheat" day, or whatever it is that people like to call it.
[It's said with a tone that feels like he wants to say something like "See, I did the thing, happy now?" but that would be a lot more childish, so he doesn't.]
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Oh yeah? What makes this day so special to make it a "cheat" day, huh?
[Regardless of his words, the tone says it all. Azul definitely sounds childish right now. It's enough to make Leona smirk at him.]
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You mean aside from the fact that I have ordered something that is probably going to exceed my calorie count for the day, so I may as well just commit to considering this a cheat day now?
[But then there's a pause, like he's debating on whether he should even bother mentioning it after having spent this entire time not doing so up to this point, until finally...]
It's... also my birthday today.
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[His ear twitches at that.]
Your birthday?
[And you decided to invite him?]
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[However... he had not really wanted to be alone today either.
Sure, he probably could have asked someone else, but... he did owe Leona a favor. And Leona is someone that feels... strangely safe of all things to do this with, because Leona isn't the type of person who would make a particularly big deal out of it, right? Or so Azul assumes, anyway. He isn't expecting Leona to feel or act like he's supposed to be obligated to do something about it like someone else might just because it happens to be his birthday today.]
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[While it sounds mean, it...isn't. Because Leona genuinely doesn't really know anyone within Azul's circle (that he knows of) who'd care about something like that. And rest assured, Leona isn't feeling obligated or something either. It's not like school where they hold birthday interviews and are required to give gifts. Leona doesn't care for the whole fanfare of it.]
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... You do have a point there. There's no one else we know of back home that are here, nor do I know if you even know the same people I do well enough here that it would come up in conversation.
[If he had to guess who among his
crbusiness dealings and associations he's made here would be the type to care, it would probably be Kaveh (which will be proven correct when he gets back to his apartment and finds the birthday gift the other man left him), or Della maybe, who tends to be rather enthusiastic and friendly and thus, the sort who would care about someone's birthday.]no subject
[Not like Leona goes out of his way to make friends. Even back at home, his circle was fairly small with people he genuinely trusted. He likes his privacy and his space.]
So don't worry about me running my mouth off to someone about your birthday.
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I suppose you're right. It was rather silly of me to be worried about such a thing, now that I think about it.