There's something in those words though that kind of tugs at him. Azul is naturally defensive, keeping his cards close to his chest as much as possible.]
[It's quiet. Far too quiet, save for the sound of Azul's breathing on the other end that sounds a little too harsh for a second. Not unlike the beginnings of the panic attack he was having at the gala months ago now, but then the hitch smooths out, and when he finally responds, instead of panicked he just sounds... tired. Very, very tired, as if all the energy he came into this initial "argument" at the start has been drained out of him.]
I don't know.
[Quiet, small.]
I don't know... how you expect me to answer that at all.
[He's never even had this kind of conversation with the twins back home, and they are the closest people of all to him. But it was easy to avoid acknowledging any sense of companionship they had with each other, with their frequent throwing around of the word "associate" for each other, or that it was all only temporary anyway, they were going to leave him someday once they finally got bored of him...
He can't really do the same thing with Leona here, because Leona is not the twins. He's his own person and has his own thoughts and feelings and thus, Azul can't just use the same words on him as he would for Jade and Floyd to compel them to continue being in his life for the time being. And yet...
I don't know what to say that would keep you from leaving me behind too.]
[Leona isn't the sentimental type. At least, not that anyone back home could claim him to be. The only people who'd have some idea would be Ruggie and Jack, but they're part of his dorm. His "pride". Leona doesn't keep anyone close to him otherwise. Even then, they wouldn't even really be called "friends".
Ruggie chose to work for him and while Jack admires him, the wolf has enough sense not to blindly follow him either. They're dorm mates. His underclassmen. Not friends. Leona wouldn't even call any of their peers his friends either. Especially not Azul or Malleus from back then. But even he can admit some line has crossed here.
He lets out a low hum, almost as if sensing something underneath those words.]
[Honestly, Azul is the last person who should be giving Leona grief for not being the sentimental type, given that he normally doesn't even call Jade and Floyd his "friends" by comparison here. He always uses words like "associates", or "attendants", or "colleagues" even though they've known of each other since practically childhood.
Though, merfolk do have their own similar words like "pride" when it comes to certain bonds: there's one's "school", but Azul hates that one because of how unwelcoming his "school" of classmates had been. "Swarm" is more fitting when it comes to the twins perhaps, as that's the word used for eels that hunt in pairs together or with others. Or a "company" or "consortium" as it is called sometimes when it comes to octopuses that gather close together, but again, those feel like oddly distant words to try to compare to what land-dwellers use for close relationships.
The only other word that come close is considering Leona a part of his "tangle", perhaps. It's a more familial word for when octopus are close to not just their own fellow octopus, but other fish that they are comfortable with allowing their tentacles to touch and "tangle" themselves around without fear of being disarmed or hurt in some other manner, in a manner of speaking. But Leona might find that laughable to hear coming out of Azul's mouth, and Azul is really not in the mood to get potentially laughed at right now.
Still...]
... Hypothetically... if I concede to the fact that I do want to consider you as something like a friend, is this going to be an issue? Or something that you'll laugh at me for?
[If he's considered part of a "tangle", then it'd only be fitting that Azul is part of his pride. Which wouldn't be too far off now since they were the only ones from their world brought to this one for months now. Even then, Malleus had come and gone--the lizard is useless. In the end, they were left with each other.
Lions are more affectionate creatures, as much as Leona hates to admit it. His dorm? He'd proudly call them his pride. They still stuck with him even through his Overblot, especially Ruggie and Jack. Not that he'd ever admit it to their faces.
He can't help but scoff.]
If anyone's ever given you an issue about that, were they ever really called a friend?
[Initially at the sound of that scoff, Azul's hackles start to raise, but once Leona actually speaks, he realizes that Leona was not in fact about to dismiss or laugh at him here.]
No, I suppose not.
[And for a moment, Azul does feel... calmer. Leona didn't laugh or say that they couldn't be friends. It still feels like something hurts somewhere in his chest, but it's not as painful as it was before. But maybe this will in fact fade now, someday hopefully soon.
At least, until he notices the notification of a response to the post that caused Azul to even message Leona like this. Before switching to audio, he had sent one last note about not being interested in playing anymore, because he had recognized that he needed to step back from the whole thing rather than continue to work himself up over something so stupid here once he had spoken to Leona. But it looks like Khalid had responded again at some point while Azul and Leona were talking... and Azul makes the mistake of looking to see what it was just now.
Your loss, Blue. I enjoy these games.
Logically, deep down, Azul does think that Khalid does not intentionally mean for those words to seem cruel. That he is talking about the guessing game being played in that post since its, well, a game, and was not in fact referring to Azul's feelings about Leona and other things lately. And yet, anger bubbles under the surface and he forgets for a moment that he literally still has Leona on speaker here as he starts typing up a response to this message--
--until Leona will hear what sounds like Azul's phone suddenly falling out of his hands and being dropped against the desk.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He echoes the words back to him.
There's something in those words though that kind of tugs at him. Azul is naturally defensive, keeping his cards close to his chest as much as possible.]
Are we still?
no subject
I don't know.
[Quiet, small.]
I don't know... how you expect me to answer that at all.
[He's never even had this kind of conversation with the twins back home, and they are the closest people of all to him. But it was easy to avoid acknowledging any sense of companionship they had with each other, with their frequent throwing around of the word "associate" for each other, or that it was all only temporary anyway, they were going to leave him someday once they finally got bored of him...
He can't really do the same thing with Leona here, because Leona is not the twins. He's his own person and has his own thoughts and feelings and thus, Azul can't just use the same words on him as he would for Jade and Floyd to compel them to continue being in his life for the time being. And yet...
I don't know what to say that would keep you from leaving me behind too.]
no subject
Ruggie chose to work for him and while Jack admires him, the wolf has enough sense not to blindly follow him either. They're dorm mates. His underclassmen. Not friends. Leona wouldn't even call any of their peers his friends either. Especially not Azul or Malleus from back then. But even he can admit some line has crossed here.
He lets out a low hum, almost as if sensing something underneath those words.]
Answer in any way you want.
no subject
Though, merfolk do have their own similar words like "pride" when it comes to certain bonds: there's one's "school", but Azul hates that one because of how unwelcoming his "school" of classmates had been. "Swarm" is more fitting when it comes to the twins perhaps, as that's the word used for eels that hunt in pairs together or with others. Or a "company" or "consortium" as it is called sometimes when it comes to octopuses that gather close together, but again, those feel like oddly distant words to try to compare to what land-dwellers use for close relationships.
The only other word that come close is considering Leona a part of his "tangle", perhaps. It's a more familial word for when octopus are close to not just their own fellow octopus, but other fish that they are comfortable with allowing their tentacles to touch and "tangle" themselves around without fear of being disarmed or hurt in some other manner, in a manner of speaking. But Leona might find that laughable to hear coming out of Azul's mouth, and Azul is really not in the mood to get potentially laughed at right now.
Still...]
... Hypothetically... if I concede to the fact that I do want to consider you as something like a friend, is this going to be an issue? Or something that you'll laugh at me for?
[hypothetically speaking, of course]
no subject
Lions are more affectionate creatures, as much as Leona hates to admit it. His dorm? He'd proudly call them his pride. They still stuck with him even through his Overblot, especially Ruggie and Jack. Not that he'd ever admit it to their faces.
He can't help but scoff.]
If anyone's ever given you an issue about that, were they ever really called a friend?
no subject
No, I suppose not.
[And for a moment, Azul does feel... calmer. Leona didn't laugh or say that they couldn't be friends. It still feels like something hurts somewhere in his chest, but it's not as painful as it was before. But maybe this will in fact fade now, someday hopefully soon.
At least, until he notices the notification of a response to the post that caused Azul to even message Leona like this. Before switching to audio, he had sent one last note about not being interested in playing anymore, because he had recognized that he needed to step back from the whole thing rather than continue to work himself up over something so stupid here once he had spoken to Leona. But it looks like Khalid had responded again at some point while Azul and Leona were talking... and Azul makes the mistake of looking to see what it was just now.
Your loss, Blue. I enjoy these games.
Logically, deep down, Azul does think that Khalid does not intentionally mean for those words to seem cruel. That he is talking about the guessing game being played in that post since its, well, a game, and was not in fact referring to Azul's feelings about Leona and other things lately. And yet, anger bubbles under the surface and he forgets for a moment that he literally still has Leona on speaker here as he starts typing up a response to this message--
--until Leona will hear what sounds like Azul's phone suddenly falling out of his hands and being dropped against the desk.]